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CONFLICTING ODORS
Resignations

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Bobo The Irish Moose was the first member of Conflicting Odors to resign, on January 3, 2000. His hilarious resignation letter cannot be found at this time. Otis The Israeli Jackalope departed in April of that same year, without ever writing a letter. Michael The Arabian Aardvark resigned on August 13, 2001. Non-member Atomic The Belarusian Bison quit three days later. The resignation letters from Aardvarksan and the Atomic One appear below.

MICHAEL THE ARABIAN AARDVARK: 8/13/01

Dear Maggots,

I am resigning from Conflicting Odors today, August 13, 2001, after over 20 months. I have enjoyed my stint as a member, especially the connections, performances, and memories that I never predicted would come as far as they did. I shall continue my ideals and presumably my musical endeavors for quite a while. Next stop: college, Carnegie Mellon University. I will continue to advise and assist Conflicting Odors, an unprecedented 0-person band, as manager, webdude, and other tasks as well. I may also perform in the future with CO as a guest performer. CO is still available to perform at parties and other gigs. I would like to thank Otis, Torple, Atomic, Bobo, the Vegetarian Choir, Nicole, Jessiqa, Jess, Ben, Meryl, Cory, Bobby, Nancy, Luna 3, Juxa Posse, and all the friends and fans (maggots) that supported me. Conflicting Odors developed into a necessary outlet for my emotions, writing, and creativity, even in private practices and writing sessions, and I am so grateful for the opportunity and experience. I quit in order to take my personal interests and career to the next level, with nothing but respect for CO. I hope the band continues eternally, even without members. Lore. Mystery. Imagination. Perseverance. Don't be a pudge rocker anymore; go vegetarian! She is my goddess, yet she is a lesbian! Perverted, I just want to peep! La! From now on we will not die, just to continue your white lie! Oh no, not again! I fove her; I luck her! For your information, 14 songs (including "Fove Her Luck Her") were recently recorded for future reference. But now it's time to depart. Thanks for the wonder.

Sincerely,
Michael The Arabian Aardvark


ATOMIC THE BELARUSIAN BISON: 8/16/01

To whom it may or may not concern,
Greetings Conflicting Odors fans, a motley crew of scaliwags and hooligans the lot of ya. To all of you, I am known as my stage name, Atomic the Belurusian Bison, keyboardist/vocalist/gig getter for Conflicting Odors. Becuase of the multiple roles I played in the band, I feel it is only right to consider myself a member. I played 2 gigs with CO, attended many practices and one audition, and tried relentlessly, albeit unsuccessfully, to book a CO gig. This past week, founding member [Michael] the Arabian Aardvark announced his resignation from the band, much to the dismay of you, the fans. Don't be distressed though, since many bands have survived without their founding members, sometimes even going onto greater success. Like when David Lee Roth left Van Halen, they actually became more popular. Same goes with when Pete Best was replaced by drumming maestro Ringo Starr in the little known underground rock and roll outfit, the Beatles. And did you know that even Nirvana used to [have] a different lead singer? His [name] was Kurt Cobain. I'm not sure why he left the band or what happened to him after that, but I think he went on to collaborate with recording artist Afroman for penning that "Cause I Got High" song. Conflicting Odors will survive. That being said, I would like to announce my own departure from Conflicting Odors because of creative differences. They were moving in a total different direction musically than I was. I will now concentrate all my time on my solo project, Atomic and his Package. It's sort of like emo meets gangsta rap, to create a delicate combination of genres that Rolling Stone (not the magazine) referred to as "some f--ked up sh--." I wish the best of luck to CO in all of their future endeavors... Punk rock forever.
-Adam (formerly Atomic the Belrusian Bison)