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CONFLICTING ODORS
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yep, his story checks out

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Since the early years of his childhood, Michael The Arabian Aardvark (born with a different name) has had an affinity for writing. Since the beginning of elementary school, he has expressed his desrires to become a writer, pursuing his hobby as a professional career. He took keyboard lessons in third grade, quitting long before the end of the class, and joined the chorus in both elementary school and middle school. He wrote frequently, especially in high school. Aardvarksan attended several camps with Bobo The Irish Moose, who then also went by a different moniker. At one such camp, he formed an a ca pella group with two other friends called Obviously 3 Retards. The group sung such jingles as the Waldbaum's and Kit Kat themes at amusement parks and over the camp loud speaker, until the camp's owner insisted they stop. The band continued with its original name even after one member quit.

Ere his sophomore year in high school, Michael TAA met Otis The Israeli Jackalope on an American Trails West teen tour. During his sophomore year of high school, Aardvarksan picked up his brother's old acoustic gee-tar that he found in the basement and began playing along to tunes by Green Day and other bands. It was approximately this time that Aardvarksan gradually started his path towards vegetarianism. Writing his first original songs since his elementary school years, Michael The Arabian Aardvark wrote several new songs, including "In Your Tree" and "(We're Not) Friends."

One night prior to his sixteenth birthday, Aardvarksan attended a Blink-182 concert in New Yawk City with his father, Otis The Israeli Jackalope, and Bobo The Irish Moose. This occurred during the junior year of high school for all three founding fathers, and incidents of that night sevred as the inspiration for "Please Fu-- Off." Otis and Mr. Irishmoose were friends at high school, and the former, also known as Cimarosi and then as of recently a vegetarian, had just ended his tenure as the vocalist of Lesbian Birdsh-- Wearing Pants. On the long line to enter the venue, many crazy things were said, including lyrics to some of Aardvarksan's new songs. Mr. Irishmoose knew how to play the gee-tar and had recently taken up drums, Cimarosi was interested in singing as part of his acting aspirations which have since disintegrated, and Michael The Arabian Aardvark had songs written, and was willing to have fun with his gee-tar. On December 11th, two fortnights later, the band assembled with a video camera in the basement of Mr. Irishmoose. Early versions of "Down With Structure," "In Your Tree," "The Sexually Active Vegetarian Society," and several covers were performed. Upon seeing Aardvarksan's lowly acoustic gee-tar and meager skill, Bobo The Irish Moose was appalled and insisted that his electric gee-tar be used instead. Mr. Irishmoose played with a wart on his finger, hence "Thwart The Wart," and Cimarosi sang without a microphone.

Following the first practice, Aardvarksan proceeded writing new material, as he has ever since. He purchased a new gee-tar at a local music store, still an acoustic one, but with electrical plug-in capabilities. Conflicting Odors' fan club, email account, and Ultimate Band List profile were all founded at this point. Upon hearing the news of development, Bobo The Irish Moose quit on January 3, 2000, citing that he was not retarded enough for Conflicting Odors and that he had a reputation to preserve. Atomic The Belarusian Bison tried to get Conflicting Odors a local gig at the Atomic One's school, but it never materialized for that school year. The two-man band proceeded, now with a completely vegetarian line-up. Nicole from Syosset came to a practice and became the #1 fan, a keyboarder was almost recruited, and the band persevered. An application was filled out and a set list finalized for the spring MusicFest gig at Aardvarksan's school when the lyrics to "Pudge Rocker" were first shown to Otis The Israeli Jackalope. Cimarosi announced his plans to resign, and after BWX, the group's agent, saw his lack of enthusiasm, the inevitable happened, in April 2000.

Accepting his role in a one-man-band, also referred to as a solo project, Michael The Arabian Aardvark attended a writing workshop in Oregon during the summer of 2000, where "Reminiscing" was written and Jess from Out West desired to join the band after his infatuation with "Don't Pee on Yourself." The woes of Conflicting Odors were documented in the essay "A Time When I Was Lost." With a new-found confidence, Aardvarksan continued. He began planning a millennium New Year's party for friends that included performances by Conflicting Odors, Luna 3, and Juxa Posse. The gig went very well, at least in terms of entertainment value, and included guest appearances by Otis The Israeli Jackalope and Atomic The Belarusian Bison. A second show, solo, was played several months later and went extremely well in terms of entertainment and comedy. The most recent show, MusicFest at High School East, was the band's biggest show. It was also the only public performance to date, bringing the insanity that is Conflicting Odors to the masses, with an estimated audience of 150 people. Despite some sound equipment problems, this show also went fairly well, and featured guest performances by Atomic the Belarusian Bison, Torple the Dutch SpiderMonkey, and 6 of 8 members of the Vegetarian Choir.

Little can be said to describe the unique presentation embodying a live show by Conflicting Odors, except that it is far from normal. The band's sound has evolved to a hybrid of many genres, taking most of its cues from punk and alternative. Vocals and acoustic gee-tar dominate the music, but there are also elements of keyboard, DJ equipment, and percussion. There is a lot of performance, comedy, and visual effects; a spectator only attentive to the sound of the music will presumably be very disappointed.

Having appealed to the masses, Conflicting Odors continues to work in an effort to please its fans, despite frequent criticism. This insanity shall continue until significant and commendable change has occurred in the insane world we inhabit, or at least until... who knows? Michael The Arabian Aardvark quit the band in August 2001, but it is still going strong. Even non-member Atomic The Belarusian Bison quit that same month, making the unprecedented 0-person band into an even more unprecedented -1 member band. The career of Conflicting Odors is far from over, after all three members and even a non-member have quit.